Trophies and Medals

Yesterday, I got a package in the mail.  It was my trophy for finishing marathons in all 50 states for the second time.  Trophies like this are awarded by the 50 States Marathon Club.  In 2010, I received a similar trophy, when I finished 50 states for the first time.

I wasn’t originally planning to do a second circuit of 50 states.  After finishing my first circuit, I moved on to other goals.  As it happens, some of those goals involved running marathons in several different states in the same year.  I also pursued goals that involved setting the bar higher, such as breaking four hours in every state or qualifying for Boston in every state.  Before I knew it, I had already completed two or more marathons in 45 different states.  After that, I decided to repeat the remaining five states, so I could complete a second circuit.  I finished in December at the Honolulu marathon.

I’ve already finished three or more marathons in 41 states.  Normally, I’d already be planning my race schedule to complete a third circuit.  I’m sure I’ll do that eventually, but I’m not making any big plans until I’m healthy.  I’ve only registered for five races in 2016, and I’m already having doubts about the first two races.

A few days earlier, I received a medal in the mail.  This one was from Competitor Group, the company that runs the Rock ‘n’ Roll Marathon Series.  They have extra medals you can get for completing two, three, four or more of their races in the same year.  This is their “Rock Trio” medal for doing three Rock ‘n’ Roll races in one year.

Earlier in the year, I received a “Double Beat” medal, after competing Rock ‘n’ Roll races in New Orleans and DC.  In October, I did the Rock ‘n’ Roll Lisbon Marathon in Portugal.  At the expo, I noticed they have a special medal if you do a certain number of races in their international series.  I assume the international races don’t count toward medals like “Rock Trio,” but I’m not sure.  Finally, in November I ran Rock ‘n’ Roll Savannah.  Because of hot conditions, they had everyone turn around and take the shortest route to the finish area.  Instead of running the full course, I only ran about 20 miles of it.  I didn’t accept a finisher medal, and I didn’t pick up a finisher jacket, but they probably consider me to be a finisher.  I’m sure if I checked the results, I’d see my name.  I don’t consider myself to be a finisher of that race, because I didn’t run the full course.  In this respect, Competitor Group doesn’t “get it.”

I don’t feel I earned this medal by doing New Orleans, DC and Savannah, but I did do New Orleans, DC and Lisbon.  In any event, medals like this one aren’t a big deal to me.  While I appreciate medals, particularly the more attractive ones, what makes them special is knowing I earned them.  The medal represents an accomplishment.

There’s been a trend in recent years toward larger and gaudier finisher medals.  The Little Rock and Texas Marathons are examples.  One of my favorite medals is only about an inch in diameter.  It’s the finisher medal from the Comrades Marathon, which is an 89K ultramarathon in South Africa.  The medal may be small, but the accomplishment is huge.  In South Africa, you’re not regarded as a “real” runner until you have one of these.

Last year, the medals were larger, but only because it was the 90th Comrades Marathon.  Every 10 years, they have special commemorative editions of the medals.  I ran the Comrades Marathon again last year, earning an extra medal for doing the race in back-to-back years.  It’s a point-to-point course, and they alternate the direction.  The elevation profile differs significantly between “up” years and “down” years.  Doing them both, particularly in back-to-back years, is a notable accomplishment.  For this reason, getting the “back-to-back” medal was a big deal to me.

In addition to special awards like the 50 states trophy, I’ve received a number of age group awards over the years.  Most of those are either in a display case or mounted on a wall.  Over the years, I’ve received hundreds of finisher medals.  I’ve never found a good place for them.  Some people buy large display racks to hang them on a wall.  I now have too many for that.  For the time being, they’re mostly on hangers in a closet.  One of these days, I need to take pictures of all of them, so I can make a photo album.

Best Frequent Marathoners, 2015

The “Best Frequent Marathoners” lists for 2015 have been posted.  These are the work of Dave Trautman, a professor at The Citadel.  Dr. Trautman has been publishing these lists every year since 2009.  In his own words, they’re an attempt “to identify what I call the best frequent marathoners; those runners who a) run a lot of marathons, and b) do so reasonably well.”

Each runner is assigned a score that’s essentially a summation of the difference between their times and the median times for runners of the same gender in the same marathons.  If a runner has a race where they’re slower than average, it doesn’t help their score, but they aren’t penalized for it.

Here are the lists of the top women and men in 2015:

 

For more detail, Dr. Trautman’s full post can be found here.

http://www.mathcs.citadel.edu/trautmand/stuff/BestFrequentMarathoners2015.htm

My name is on the list of men for the fifth straight year.  I was surprised to make the list this year.  Since May, my times have been much slower than they used to be, so I didn’t expect to have many races in which my time was faster than the median time for men.  I think I made this list largely on the strength of races I ran earlier in the year.  I also scored well in races that were part of a series, such as the Day of the Dead Series.  Since most of the runners there were racing for several consecutive days, times were slow.  I wasn’t at as much of a disadvantage running with injuries.

I know about half the runners on these lists.  When you race frequently, you get to know some of the other runners who race frequently.  Many of them are members of the 50sub4 Marathon Club.  We occupy a niche at the intersection of runners who race frequently and runners who are at least moderately fast.  It’s nice to have some recognition for that.  I’m pleased to see Vincent Ma’s name at the top of the men’s list.  I saw Vincent at several races this year.  He’s been strong this year.

I won’t race nearly as frequently in 2016, and it will be a long time before I’m in good enough shape to run times that are faster than average.  I won’t be on this list next year, but I’ve had a nice run.

My First Run of 2016

Today, I went for a run.  It was my first run of the year.  I only ran a few miles.  I ran slowly and cautiously; I wore a compression wrap; and I ran on the treadmill.  I could have run outside, but there are a few icy patches.  I didn’t want to risk slipping on ice when my right leg is still fragile.

I’m roughly three weeks into my long overdue recovery from a groin strain.  For the first week, I didn’t run at all.  Then I started doing short cautious runs like the one I did today.  Then I had a setback.

Last Thursday, I did weight training.  That’s the only form of cross-training I haven’t abandoned.  My upper body exercises went OK.  Then I did my leg extensions.  On the last couple of reps, I felt some discomfort in my right leg.  It didn’t feel that bad at the time, but I noticed it more during the night.  Often while I’m in bed, I’ll notice things I don’t notice during the day.  I’m most apt to have discomfort in my leg when I roll over in bed or absent-mindedly stretch out and flex the muscles when I wake up.

On Friday, I felt discomfort almost every time I moved my legs.  It wasn’t severe, but it was there.  Friday was New Year’s Day.  I was hoping to start the new year with a short run, but the only prudent thing to do was take a day off.  I also rested on Saturday and Sunday.  By Monday, my leg was feeling much better, but I took one more rest day to be on the safe side.

Since my last race, I’ve been noticing improvement in my leg, but it’s been gradual.  I don’t always notice a difference from day to day, but I can see improvement from week to week.  My workout last Thursday probably set me back between two and three weeks.  I can’t afford to have any more setbacks like that.  I couldn’t afford this one.

The reason is can’t afford a setback is because I’m signed up for two races in February.  The first one is the Los Angeles Marathon on February 14.  The second is the Rock ‘n’ Roll New Orleans Marathon on February 28.  I signed up for both of these races last spring, when I was healthy.

Neither of these races is part of any long-term goal.  I signed up for the Los Angeles Marathon, because it’s being held in conjunction with the Olympic Trials.  Of the large marathons, this is one of the few I’ve never done.  I’ve never spent any time in L.A., and this seemed like the best time.  As for Rock ‘n’ New Orleans, I signed up right after last year’s race, when they were offering a significant discount on the entry fee.  It’s a race I always enjoy.

I have no illusions of being in shape for these races.  I’d be content to do some combination of running and walking that gets me to the finish within the time limits.  My only concern is being healthy.  I don’t want to race if it causes me to aggravate an existing injury.  I’ve been doing that for far too long.  I’m serious about wanting to get healthy before doing any more racing.

I booked flights for both of these trips using frequent flier miles.  If I cancel my flights at least 72 hours in advance, my miles will be redeposited in my account.  I can also cancel my hotel and rental car reservations.  My only out-of-pocket expenses are the entry fees.

Hotels in LA are expensive.  To save money, I was planning to share a room with my friend Aaron.  That’s my biggest concern.  I don’t want him to be stuck if I have to cancel.  I could still fly out and watch the trials, but it’s hard to justify the expense if I’m not also running.  Hotels in Santa Monica aren’t cheap.

Over the past several months, I’ve had to accept a lot of limitations.  I’ve given up several activities that were keeping my leg from healing.  Although I was still racing until mid-December, I gave up on most other running.  I gave up on most forms of cross-training, including cycling.  I gave up on physical therapy, when I regressed to the point where I needed to do more healing first.  I gave up on a set of core exercises that I’ve been doing consistently for 35 years.  It looks like I also have to give up my weight training.

I could still do my upper body exercises, but I need to give up the leg extensions and possibly the leg curls.  The leg extensions were the only thing I was doing to maintain strength in my quads.  Now I have to wonder how much strength and muscle mass I’m going to lose before I’m able to resume strenuous workouts.

By waiting until today to do my first run of the year, I’ve all but given up on another goal.  I don’t run every day, but I have some long streaks for weekly and month mileage.  I’ve run at least 100 miles per month for 137 consecutive months.  I’ve run at least 10 miles per week for 554 consecutive weeks.  Both of those streaks go back more than 10 years, so I hate to give them up.  I had doubts about running 100 miles in December, but I finished the month with 100.4 miles.  That’s only because I ran two marathons earlier in the month.  Without any races this month, getting to 100 is doubtful.  The 10 miles per week streak probably isn’t in danger.

A friend posted this online recently.  My comment was, “The rest muscle is located between your ears.  It’s difficult to train this muscle.”  Mine seems to be particularly resistant to training.  If I want my leg to get better, I need to be smarter and less stubborn.  I'm getting there.

My History of Insomnia

This is a running blog, but this post isn’t about running.  It’s about insomnia.  If you’ve read many of my race reports, you’ve probably read at least one that mentioned trouble sleeping the night before a race.  That’s a common problem.  Lots of runners get keyed up the night before a race and can’t get to sleep.  For me, it’s a chronic problem.  It’s worse before races, but it’s something I deal with other nights as well.

In my “Goals for 2016” post, I mentioned that I’ve been taking Benadryl to help me sleep.  That’s just the most recent chapter in a long story.  Here’s the whole story.

I don’t recall having any difficulty sleeping as a child.  It’s a problem that developed later.  When I was young, I fell asleep quickly and slept through the night.  The earliest I can recall having trouble getting to sleep is when I was in college.  I used to listen to music to make it easier to get to sleep.  Listen to music distracted me and helped me relax.  I could lose myself in the music, which helped me to stop thinking about whatever else was on my mind.  Then I’d eventually fall asleep.

By the time Deb and I got married, I no longer listened to music to fall asleep.  Insomnia was sometimes a problem, but once I fell asleep, I would sleep through the night.  If it took longer to fall asleep, I just didn’t get as much sleep that night.  When I was young, I could more easily shake off a poor night’s sleep.

Normally, your need for sleep decreases with age.  Running made things more complicated.  In my late 30s, I started doing ultramarathons.  I was training year-round.  I was training seven days a week.  My body needed more sleep to recover.  Now, if I didn’t get a full night’s sleep, I felt sluggish.  If it happened two nights in a row, I felt really run down.  If it happened three consecutive nights, I’d get sick.

Over time, my sleep disorder took on three distinct dimensions.  First, I can only sleep in a carefully controlled environment.  If there’s too much noise, it keeps me awake.  I’ve learned to cope with this by wearing ear plugs.  The ear plugs shut out most background noise.  Now only loud noises will keep me from sleeping.  I also can’t sleep if there’s too much light.  I can usually cope with this by wearing a sleep mask.

My biggest problem is temperature.  I can’t sleep if I’m too warm.  By too warm, I don’t mean summer heat.  What most people consider a normal room temperature is too warm for me.  I need a cold room and bedding that isn’t thick.  At home, I sleep in the basement, where the temperature is several degrees cooler than upstairs.  In hotels, I need to use the air conditioning.

When I spoke to a doctor about this aspect of my sleep problems, he didn’t regard it as a disorder.  This comes under the heading of individual variation.  His recommendation was to be aware of the environmental factors that affect my sleep and find ways to control each one.  I was already doing that.  At home it’s not a big problem.  I have a consistent sleep environment every night.  Controlling the sleep environment in a hotel room is much more difficult.

Besides being easily kept awake by distractions, I’m also a light sleeper.  There are different stages of sleep.  Some are deeper than others.  It’s normal to alternate between light and deep stages.  When I’m in a lighter stage of sleep, I often wake up.  For me, it’s normal to wake up several times per night.  That’s OK, as long as I can get back to sleep quickly.  Unfortunately, I sometimes have trouble getting back to sleep.  If you have trouble getting to sleep, and you have to fall asleep several times per night, you have lots of opportunities to lose sleep.

I’ve also discussed this with a doctor.  Again, this isn’t really a disorder.  It’s just individual variation.  Thousands of years ago, being able to wake up quickly in times of danger was an important survival mechanism.  Apparently, I have traits that would help me survive in the wilderness.  For me, that’s not terrible useful.

The third dimension is my sleep difficulties really is a sleep disorder.  I have trouble relaxing my mind so I can fall asleep.  I’ve often compared my brain to a radio.  I can change the channel at will, but I can’t turn it off, and I can’t turn down the volume.  This mental “noise” can keep me awake for hours.  Unlike my other problems, I had no easy way of coping with this one.  Every time I woke up during the night, there was a chance the “radio” would turn on and keep me from getting back to sleep.

When I discussed this last aspect with a doctor, he noted that people with anxiety often use the same analogy.  I do sometimes have anxieties, but I don’t have to be worried about anything to have difficulty sleeping.  I latch onto the last thought to enter my brain.  It might be something as simple as getting a tune stuck in my head.

In the late 1990s, my insomnia began to interfere with my life in a big way.  At the time, I was taking night classes.  I was working on a master’s degree in software engineering.  I was about halfway through my curriculum, and I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to get straight A’s.  I had a stressful job by day, and I was taking two classes in the evenings.  I got so wound up that I couldn’t sleep.  After two completely sleepless nights, I had to call in sick.  The next night, I had trouble sleeping again.  I called in sick for a second straight day.  Realizing something had to give, I met with my boss and project manager.  I quit school.  After that, I was once again able to get enough sleep to function at work.  I never completed my master’s degree.

Over the years, I tried different things to make it easier to sleep.  I tried self-medicating with melatonin.  I also tried Benadryl.  My doctor told me he could prescribe something if it got worse.

Eventually, it got worse.  About 11 years ago, I was under a lot of stress, and I was only getting 2-3 hours of sleep per night.  My doctor prescribed Trazadone, which is an anti-anxiety medication.  It worked.  It was like having a button to turn off the radio.  I could turn off all thoughts and fall asleep.

One of the problems with a medication like Trazadone is that you can build up a resistance to it.  Over time, I had to increase the dosage.  Twice.  I didn’t want to be on a prescription anti-anxiety drug for the rest of my life, so I asked my doctor if there was something else I could take.  He had me try Ambien.  Ambien worked, but it wore off about halfway through the night.  Then I’d wake up, and I wouldn’t get back to sleep.  There was a time-release version of Ambien, but it wasn’t covered by my insurance.  I asked my doctor if there was something else I could try.  He prescribed Clonazepam.

Clonazepam is another anti-anxiety drug.  It’s actually a stronger drug than Trazadone.  I had reservations, but started taking it.  It worked great for quieting my mind, but it didn’t actually make me drowsy.  It helped if I followed a consistent routine and went to bed at the same time each night.  Even still, I sometimes had trouble getting back to sleep when I woke in in the middle of the night.  Unlike Trazadone, I never had to increase the dosage.  Instead, I started taking Benadryl again.  In combination, the two drugs helped to get to sleep quickly and then get back to sleep each time I woke up during the night.  My doctor was OK with that.

Every so often, I had to get a new prescription for Clonazepam.  I was on it for years.  Then I started seeing a different doctor.  He was concerned with how long I had been taking Clonazepam.  It’s a strong drug, and it’s not a good idea to be on it long-term.  Unfortunately, it’s extremely habit-forming.  If I stopped taking it, I might not be able to sleep at all for days.  That’s also not a good idea.  He wasn’t sure if there was something else I could take, so he sent me to a sleep clinic.  Before making any recommendations, they wanted to do a sleep study, to collect data about how I sleep.

There are many types of sleep disorders.  Many years ago, when I referred to my condition as “insomnia,” Deb tried to correct me.  She thought the correct term was “sleep apnea.”  She checked out a book on sleep disorders.  I learned that sleep apnea refers to a specific sleep disorder, which involved irregular breathing.  People with sleep apnea are able to fall asleep, but interruptions in their breathing cause them to abruptly wake up.  Insomnia, while sometimes used as a generic term, refers to different sleep disorder, involving difficulty falling asleep.  I was pretty sure insomnia was the correct term for my problems.

When I had my first consultation with a sleep specialist, she seemed to assume I had either sleep apnea or another sleep disorder called “restless leg syndrome.”  One of the symptoms of restless leg syndrome is sudden jerking motions during light sleep, which can wake you up.

For my sleep study, I slept at the clinic.  I had all kinds of electrodes and other sensors hooked up to me.  The technician could monitor my breathing, my eye movements, my brainwaves and whether I moved my legs.  Getting to sleep with all those wires wasn’t easy.  If I don’t fall asleep right away, I tend to toss and turn.  Turning from one side to another while I was hooked up took care.  That made it even harder to fall asleep.  I didn’t get a lot of sleep, but I fell asleep in a few different positions, and they were able to get data for different stages of sleep.

My breathing is textbook.  I don’t have any irregularities when I sleep.  I don’t have sleep apnea.  I also don’t have restless leg syndrome.  While I’m asleep, I remain perfectly motionless.  There was nothing abnormal about how I sleep.  I just have trouble getting to sleep.  I have plain vanilla insomnia.  It’s not very common, but that’s what I have.

Next, we talked about what things can keep me from getting to sleep.  With respect to controlling my sleep environment and eliminating distractions, I was doing all the right things.  I was told to keep sleeping in a cold environment, keep wearing ear plugs, and keep wearing a sleep mask.  With respect to quieting my mind, they advised following a consistent evening routine and always going to bed at the same time.  Those things usually work.  If I can’t get to sleep quickly, it’s usually because I have something on my mind.  Clonazepam was an appropriate medication, but they agreed I shouldn’t stay on it any longer.  In the short term, I needed to wean myself off it very gradually, so I wouldn’t have severe side-effects.  In the long-term, I needed to learn other ways to control anxiety, so it wouldn’t keep me awake.

I reduced my dosage of Clonazepam 25% at a time.  I alternated between a full pill one night and a half pill the next night.  At first, I had trouble sleeping on the nights I took a half pill.  Sometimes I also had diarrhea.  That’s a withdrawal symptom.  Eventually, I stopped having withdrawal symptoms and my sleep became more uniform.

I kept stepping down the dosage.  Next I switched to half pills every night.  Then I cut back to half pills every other night.  Eventually, I only took half pills on nights I was wound up.  Usually that was the night before a race.  Finally, I was able to stop taking it completely.

I’m getting better at managing anxiety.  More often than not, if I’m too wound up to sleep it’s because I’m worried about not getting enough sleep.  That becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy.  I’m most prone to those worries if I have to get up unusually early.  If I have a small sleep window to begin with, and I don’t fall asleep right away, I get more and more wound up.  I can lie awake for hours.  This is most likely to happen the night before a race.

Before a race, I’m usually sleeping in a hotel, so it’s harder to control my sleep environment.  Sometimes the air conditioning is inadequate to cool the room down.  Sometimes the pillows or duvet covers are too thick.  Sometimes it’s too noisy.  Race mornings are the mornings I’m most apt to have to set my alarm early.  Race days are the days I’m most concerned about the consequences of not getting any sleep.

It’s taking time, but I’m learning to control these anxieties.  I know from experience that I can race well with only an hour or two of sleep.  I know it’s possible to race well even without any sleep, although it’s not my favorite thing to do.  Knowing that, I tell myself that it’s OK if I don’t fall asleep right away.  As long as I fall asleep eventually, I’ll be all right.

I’m getting pretty good at falling asleep initially, but there are still nights when I wake up during the night and have trouble getting back to sleep.  The longer it takes to get back to sleep, the more wide awake I feel.  I tell myself to have faith that I’ll get back to sleep eventually, even if it takes a couple hours.  I usually do.  Knowing that makes the self-talk more reassuring.  I’m now confident that if I’m patient enough, I’ll eventually get back to sleep.  I’m also confident that I’ll be OK even if I don’t get back to sleep.  The more I believe my reassuring self-talk, the more it works.

I’m completely off Clonazepam, but I’m still taking Benadryl.  I also developed a dependency to that.  It’s not a strong medication, but I’ve been taking it for years.  If I skip a night, I can’t get to sleep at all.  I’m attempting to wean myself off it just like I did with the Clonazepam.  So far, it’s working.  I’m currently taking half a pill each night.  I can’t say I’m sleeping great, but I’m getting enough sleep to get by.  When I adapt sufficiently to half pills, I’ll see if I can sleep with no pill.

It helps that I’m home for two months.  I sleep much better at home than I do on the road.  It also helps that the days are shorter at this time of year.  I’ve always been sensitive to daylight.  In summer, I can’t get back to sleep once the sun comes up.  In the winter, it’s easier to sleep late.  This morning, after one of our cats woke me up, I managed to get back to sleep, and I slept until 8:00.  I could never do that in the summer.

I envy people who can takes naps.  It’s almost impossible for me to sleep during the day.  I’ve done 24-hour races where I not only didn’t sleep during the race, but couldn’t sleep after the race.  I had to wait until it got dark again.  This is one of the reasons I stress about getting enough sleep at night.  I can’t make up for it with a nap.  I don’t get another chance until the next night.

I mentioned earlier that you need less sleep as you get older.  That’s now working in my favor.  When I was in my early 30s, I needed eight hours of sleep to feel refreshed.  The average person needs seven and a half hours, but that varies quite a bit from person to person.  When I took up ultrarunning, I needed more sleep.  For a while, I was needing closer to nine hours.  With age, that’s gradually decreased.  Now I do fine with seven hours.  I sometimes get by with five or six.

If you’ve never had insomnia, count your blessings.  If you have, maybe you can learn something from my story.  Or, if nothing else, maybe reading it will help put you to sleep.